Names.

I was talking to this lady that I drove to Vilnius (she was hitch-hiking). 
 After quite a while, I realized I didn't know her name. 
When I got home, I started thinking: why is it so often that we start a great conversation with a stranger and we forget to ask their name..? 

It dawned on me then - names are not important.

The Meaning.

Ever since the beginning of time man has wondered:
Why am I here?
Where am I going?
Is there a point to this?

I have been thinking about this for some time, as well.
I can't say I'm a very happy person. I am often disappointed by people. They never live up to my expectations. People are stupid. And I'm not mad. I'm disappointed.

But I think I'm starting to get it.


I spent all this time and energy on people I don't really know, wishing them to change when what I really needed to do was change myself.

We often say "One person cannot change the World." We forget that we are the World.

And how could I ever accept other people with their faults if I could never accept myself?

I am in a very...interesting place. I believe in things I never did before. Some might even say I have gone mad. I, however, have never felt this lucid in my life.

Uh-Oh.

Ooh Lordy. I've done it now. Remember the crush I've been whining about..? Yeah, well... I went ahead and kissed him last night. Twice.

Don't get too excited - I'm pretty sure it was rape on my part. From now on, Sex On The Beach is the Devil's piss in my book.

I don't even know what to do now. I went ahead and screwed everything up, like I always do. Why him? Why? Out of all the men... Why? 

Maybe I should just move to Antarctica and live with other awkward penguins.

Damn, damn, damn....

Damn him. He annoys me. He frustrates me. I should clearly just...I don't know...Concentrate on other things. Yes.

But seriously! Ever heard of mixed signals..? Why would you like my links, and yet not reply to my emails..? Why..? Gosh, he makes me feel like such a girl. All these stupid speculations. I'm never like this.

I finally get my chance to shine as a copywriter, but I constantly catch myself daydreaming of him, instead of coming up with effective slogans. Damn him. Seriously.

And yet... He makes me feel something. Something that intrigues me and makes me want to write again. That's gotta be worth something.
In any case, I don't have a choice.

Music.

After a very long break, I finally wrote a new song. Obviously, it's about my stupid obsession.

Frustrations.

He likes my photo. I like him.
I tell you - sexual frustration is the worst kind of frustration you can get.
What is it about this guy..?

Stuck.

I'm stuck. I can't move on.
I worship a possibility.



Maybe I should just tell him.
...I won't. I'm a coward.