"One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him: 'Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?' And he said to me: 'Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?' My cousin was a weird guy."
Mallrats (1995)
Gotta love movies. In movies, life is what it's supposed to be - the nerd always gets the girl, the good always conquers the bad, and weirdos like me actually have adequate friends.
Ah, real life is boring. I'd rather live in a movie. Yeah. I would live in Coffee and Cigarettes and spend my life in a freeze-frame, pretending my coffee is shampagne. Bill Murray would be my mate and Jack White would show me his Tesla Coil.
Iggy: Cigarettes and coffee, man, that's a combination.
I should really get a life.
