Damn, damn, damn....

Damn him. He annoys me. He frustrates me. I should clearly just...I don't know...Concentrate on other things. Yes.

But seriously! Ever heard of mixed signals..? Why would you like my links, and yet not reply to my emails..? Why..? Gosh, he makes me feel like such a girl. All these stupid speculations. I'm never like this.

I finally get my chance to shine as a copywriter, but I constantly catch myself daydreaming of him, instead of coming up with effective slogans. Damn him. Seriously.

And yet... He makes me feel something. Something that intrigues me and makes me want to write again. That's gotta be worth something.
In any case, I don't have a choice.

Music.

After a very long break, I finally wrote a new song. Obviously, it's about my stupid obsession.

Frustrations.

He likes my photo. I like him.
I tell you - sexual frustration is the worst kind of frustration you can get.
What is it about this guy..?

Stuck.

I'm stuck. I can't move on.
I worship a possibility.



Maybe I should just tell him.
...I won't. I'm a coward.

F*ck.

It seems I might be in love, just a little bit. 

To be honest, I have been, for a while.

It's absolutely riddiculous. I really don't like the whole situation. It makes me angry. It makes me stupid. I need to write dialogues for work, and instead, I'm daydreaming.

The object of my affection is absolutely oblivious to my idiotic obsession. Fuck. I hope he is.

I don't actually have the balls to tell him how I feel. Yeah, I'm a pussy. I know.

Instead, I just keep liking his statuses etc, hoping for a miracle to happen. Seriously, Alge..? Are we 12 years old now..?  Oh, yeah, and I have discussions about it in my head. I think I might be slightly schizophrenic now, as well.

Don't judge me too soon - there's another reason I haven't told him anything. Me, liking him is extremely inaproppriate. I will not get into details, just in case he ends up here for some reason and understands it's him. I seriously doubt that, though. I'm pretty sure this is the situation, when it comes to his feelings for me:

So...Yeah. I'm stuck in limbo.

These days.

Uhmm...

I've just realised almost all of my best friends are happily dating someone.
Meanwhile, I pretty much look like this:

The fact that the holiday season is just around the corner is not really helping.
I finally got my dream job, but it doesn't really cheer me up that much these days.
These days I just kinda wish I had someone to drink hot wine with.

You could send me this one...

...but I don't even have a cat.

Discovery.

Funny, I was going through my old notebook and found this poem I wrote, when I found out the guy I fell in love with was gay:

I took my love

And I changed it.

It was hard,

Like bending metal.

And then, you were my brother.