Music.

After a very long break, I finally wrote a new song. Obviously, it's about my stupid obsession.

Frustrations.

He likes my photo. I like him.
I tell you - sexual frustration is the worst kind of frustration you can get.
What is it about this guy..?

Stuck.

I'm stuck. I can't move on.
I worship a possibility.



Maybe I should just tell him.
...I won't. I'm a coward.

F*ck.

It seems I might be in love, just a little bit. 

To be honest, I have been, for a while.

It's absolutely riddiculous. I really don't like the whole situation. It makes me angry. It makes me stupid. I need to write dialogues for work, and instead, I'm daydreaming.

The object of my affection is absolutely oblivious to my idiotic obsession. Fuck. I hope he is.

I don't actually have the balls to tell him how I feel. Yeah, I'm a pussy. I know.

Instead, I just keep liking his statuses etc, hoping for a miracle to happen. Seriously, Alge..? Are we 12 years old now..?  Oh, yeah, and I have discussions about it in my head. I think I might be slightly schizophrenic now, as well.

Don't judge me too soon - there's another reason I haven't told him anything. Me, liking him is extremely inaproppriate. I will not get into details, just in case he ends up here for some reason and understands it's him. I seriously doubt that, though. I'm pretty sure this is the situation, when it comes to his feelings for me:

So...Yeah. I'm stuck in limbo.

These days.

Uhmm...

I've just realised almost all of my best friends are happily dating someone.
Meanwhile, I pretty much look like this:

The fact that the holiday season is just around the corner is not really helping.
I finally got my dream job, but it doesn't really cheer me up that much these days.
These days I just kinda wish I had someone to drink hot wine with.

You could send me this one...

...but I don't even have a cat.

Discovery.

Funny, I was going through my old notebook and found this poem I wrote, when I found out the guy I fell in love with was gay:

I took my love

And I changed it.

It was hard,

Like bending metal.

And then, you were my brother. 

or....

Get your dream job. Actually, two jobs.

I should bitch to the Universe more often.